Saturday, October 10, 2009

Scary But True

I have been struggling over the title for this blog.  Perhaps it should be called ‘N’er Wax Flippant among Thespians’.  This is a true story.

One day in July, my daughter asked me what I wanted to dress up as for Halloween.  Given that I was distracted, and given that it was JULY, I very flippantly answered “Marilyn Monroe”.  Well, that was it.  My theatre designer daughter was off like a greyhound chasing a rubber rabbit.  When she arrived home with a blonde bombshell wig within the week, I knew I was in for trouble.

C was busy creating costumes for herself and several others as well; I was hoping she would forget about me.  But oh no, I was lined up for fitting and subject to endless discussions about make up and nail enamel colour.  I think she settled on a colour called ‘red blooded’.  She was obsessed about the state of my fingernails and their growth rate for 3 months.

On the eve in question, I was subjected to the make up ordeal.  It took forever.  Then C did her own makeup, which took a Japanese forever.  Finally it was almost midnight and we were dressed to kill!  Nobody I knew was going to believe this. 

I phoned my neighbours ‘the Great Scotts; who had obviously been woken up by my call.  I said “I need to come over right now.  I have to show you something”.   

The Ms. Scott said “Right now?” 

I said “Yes, right now”. 

Thank goodness they were welcoming and generously manned the camera, or you would not believe me.

So once the neighbours were appropriately wowed, we were off to the party.  We were stopped within a block of our destination by the local constableatory, doing a ‘ride check’. 
“Hello Ladies” he says as he peers into the car.  “Are you going someplace special tonight?” 

Now between the mink jacket, the platinum wig and the makeup that is trowel thick, I have to wonder at the question.  Not to mention the other sex icon in the seat beside me. What’s a girl to do?  So with my breathiest, ‘Mr. President’ voice I can manage I say,

“Yes Officer”.  I threw in a couple of pats of the hair for effect.

“Have you been drinking tonight?” 

What?  Who can be thinking of drinking?  I am not only having an altered consciousness moment, I’m having an altered personality moment!  Ok, Nel, breathe, stay in character.  No one is arrested for wearing a wig. 

I answer a breathy “No Officer”.  ‘Pat' 'pat’.

“Well you Ladies have a good time”.

“We sure will”, says C enthusiastically from the passenger seat, without a trace of accent.

So I have to say it was an odd night.  I usually tend to run mostly invisible.  I noticed men’s eyes light up at the sight of me.  They wanted a conversation.  It was so weird.

C won first prize for her costume.  (An insulated duffle bag for cans of beer)  She doesn’t drink beer ever, and it was really odd altogether to see her carry it around.

We have a group shot of the costumes C did. 

What you can't see here is that Cerunus (guy with the antlers) is wearing fake-fur trousers that totally cover over his shoes.  There was a little strategic pocket built in them so he could stash some money.  This was a riot when he bought us all a coffee at the local Tim's.

The blue fairy in the middle is wearing huge beautiful sheer blue wings. She was a server and got wedged by the wings in the passage way leading to the kitchen. No one could go in or out for a few minutes.  (C later lent the wings to a professional photographer for a photo shoot.)

So I have learned my lesson.  Never be flippant around Thespians. They take your literally!


  1. fun deficiency is rampant these days. i will do what it takes to overcome it.
    last nite was mildly amusing. mb tuesday will be better.
    i like the new quote boxes. ~ L

  2. If I had seen you in a bar, I would have done a double-take as well! You look smokin' hot!